When Christianity attempts to define Scriptural marriage, an ill-perceived and ill-conceived concept is attached to it that is consistently and erroneously advocated by the church. That concept is the so-called “marriage covenant” (vows stated by the couple at their wedding), which is valid only by the presence of human witnesses. This farcical concept extolled by Christianity as a requirement for the existence and validation of a God approved marriage is preposterous and absolutely unbiblical.

I think the best way for me to proceed is to first describe an actual Scriptural marital covenant.

So, how does the covenant fit within marriage for a Biblical Christian?

When covenants of Ceremonial/Procedural Marriage were exercised in the era of the Israelites, it was a binding agreement between a man and another man for the marriage of his VIRGIN daughter. This was the only time a covenant was implemented. Plain examples of this procedure and purpose are illustrated throughout the Old Testament and vaguely alluded to twice in the New Testament. In the Old Testament, the governance of these binding agreements was inscribed in Israelite legislation. The legislation, deduced from Scripture, prescribed no insertion of any required contents, but primarily governed what was to be done if a girl was taken sexually without a covenant or any violation of its contents, as well as the principles inherent based on the marital law of God. All covenants of marriage were of the same purpose – acquiring, mostly through some expense, a pure bride for marriage. Yes, this is how women were generally bought and sold for marrying. It was the way of men after the Rebellion* of man in the Old Testament, and to a degree carried over into the New Testament. (*Romans 5:12)

Once the terms of the agreement (covenant) were fulfilled, the couple were considered husband and wife by covenant (espousal), which, generally, the maiden at a prescribed time would be delivered (given) to the purchaser’s dwelling (bedchamber) for them to make a marriage (sexual intimacy). Once this was done, she now no longer was his wife by covenant, but his wife by marriage i.e., the Joining of Two Flesh into One, with the celebration afterward. Flesh with flesh. A man is now a husband and a woman, a wife.

Now, what must be understood is that marriage i.e, the joining of flesh, occurred even without a covenant existing. It is very clear in Scripture that covenants had nothing to do with making a God joined marriage. It was strictly a procedure of espousal giving lawful rights to a father to decide who would be allowed to marry his daughter for her benefit and/or his benefit.

If a man took a maiden (a virgin), (not by rape, which is described in Deut. 22:25) without a covenant with her father, joining himself to her (sexual intimacy), there was a law dealing with that. The law stated that the man had to pay an automatic 50 shekels of silver to the father for this infringement, because his actions violated the father’s rights and authority over his daughter (Deuteronomy 22:28&29). This appears to be “the dowry of virgins” noted in Exodus 22:16&17. Verse 17 does not insinuate, as many suppose, that a father could keep his daughter from the man to be his wife, but rather, maximum compensation was to be paid by law, if the father failed to agree to take less or just “give” her to him.

Again, many assume this verse to insinuate that the father can refuse and keep her from the man from having her at all. This is wrong for two reasons: 1. If he didn’t give her to him, she, no longer a virgin, would unlikely ever be accepted by a man, and additionally forfeit any opportunity of receiving a dowry for her, because of her impurity. She was this man’s wife, period. 2. It is commanded in Deuteronomy 22:29 that the man must accept (bear responsibility for) her as his wife and can never put her away (Bill of Divorcement) all his days. In other words, a marriage i.e., the joining of flesh between them had already been made without the covenant. Isn’t that amazing!

There are other ample examples in Scripture illustrating the truth that a Biblical marriage did NOT occur through a covenant, as is taught by Christianity.

So, something needs to be observed here in the illustration I just presented and all others found in the Scriptures: These covenants were not at all what the Christian church labels marriage covenants to be today. There was never a covenant or any vow made between the man and woman. It was always an agreement between the man and the father for acquisition of the woman. Once sold, she didn’t have much to say about it. Upon the conditions being satisfied within the covenant, she immediately became his espoused wife by law i.e., Israelite Law, but not a married wife, and the covenant did not govern that espousal. At a time determined by the espoused husband, they went into the bedchamber and were married there after it by the joining of two flesh into one. From the point of the espousal, the covenant was history, unless he found her not to be a virgin after going in to marry her – thus breaking the Law of Deuteronomy 22:14. Beyond this, the covenant had no bearing on their marriage. Their marital union was now legislatively governed, which addressed marital infidelity, except in the case of the issuance of a Bill of Divorcement.

Christianity promoting of the so-called marriage covenant is not Scriptural and most certainly does not make a Scriptural marriage. If two people, qualified to be married by God, make vows to one another, then, that is all they are. Please hear me on this. The vows stated at anytime between a man and woman never, never, ever, ever truly govern their marriage – “Intent” is Subjective, not Objective. In a Scriptural marriage, where two become one flesh, the union is strictly governed by Scripture (void of being rewritten) and not the promises/vows made to each other. Sexual Intercourse is Objective in Fact; while “Intent” is Subjective in “feeling” and “opinion”. 

A fact needs to be understood as the reason for my last comment: The vows recited are irrelevant, because New Testament Scripture defines the obligations and commitments of each spouse within the marriage. It defines what makes it, what defiles it, the position/level/order of the man and woman in that marriage, along with instruction of conduct and disposition. Any vows made by the couple, cannot supersede, alter, or enhance Scriptural marital purity, instruction, and expectation. Christendom’s erroneous covenant distorts the truth that every part of a Biblical marriage is Biblically governed and regulated, with no other inputs. What does this mean? It means, for a Scriptural marriage to exist, covenants, ministers, vows, witnesses, civil or personal contracts/documents, rituals, etc. are unnecessary.

The bottom line is this: Marriage is in nature. None of those things I listed are required to be married before God. They are all unnatural. Just as you don’t need any of those man made devises or rituals to be a mother or a father – to create and bring into the world a new living soul.

The most important responsibility of the Scriptural Christian is to make sure that you and, as possible, the one you join yourself with (sexually) are Scripturally qualified to do so, to avoid fornication. I believe it is important that your other should understand how a marriage is made, and the consequences of violating it. That is all there is to it and nothing else is required other than a male and female to make it happen.

Every Christian needs to know these principles of marriage.